That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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