My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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