We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
