Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
