Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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