i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
