If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
