I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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