he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize