Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
