5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
