thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You're like the curious george of whores
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize