No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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