It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
