Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Randomize
