How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
