I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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