Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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