Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
