Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize