Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Randomize
