I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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