He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
