she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
