i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I checked into jail on foursquare
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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