TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
