sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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