You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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