Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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