I will die if light touches me.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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