my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
