is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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