I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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