Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
