Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
