I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
