Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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