Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
