I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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