Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
