I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
