Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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