Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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