Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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