Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I wish i was in the wii world.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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