I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You have to summon your inner elephant
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
