I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
