I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
