You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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