I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
