just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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