He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
