I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
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