My girlfriend figured out who you are.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
