just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize