Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
