I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
