I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize