this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
