god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
