I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
