dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
