belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
