Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
