I think i sorta joined a cult last night
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
